Lonely by default

Loneliness is a state of mind. No matter how many friends you have, how many people you're surrounded with or what your relationship status is, if you're meant to feel lonely you will feel lonely. I don't know why, is it a chemical imbalance in your brain? Is it curable? Are the people you're surrounded with just not the right people for you? I don't know!

I always hear the expression ''have a life''.. As in, ''Get a life'' or ''He's such a loser with 0 life'' .. We're all alive, technically we all have lives.. but not really! What makes two equally alive people different when it comes to ''having a life''? What makes that life? Is it how many friends you have? How cool your job is? How busy your social life is? How much you've reached in your life? How much money you have? I don't get it! How do you measure it? I can hear your thought already.. happiness.. I'd ask you to even try and define that but it will take you forever or you'll say 'satisfaction' and you'll add a ''BUT'' followed by telling me how hard it is to feel satisfied..

I'm missing something here folks, I don't understand it! Okay let me ask you one more question.. do you know that you have ''a life''.. or do you sometimes question it? Are you confident that you have the right job, the right friends, the right significant other?

Maybe I'm just one of those people who never really wished for anything.. All my wishes and dreams were, well.. ridiculous.. childish.. far fetched.. possible, but not really.. not for me atleast. When I was a kid, I never reaaallly dreamed of how my life is going to be like when I grow old.. Never thought about what kind of guy I'd wanna be with or what kind of job I can (realistically) do.. Anything ''normal'' seemed really boring.. I didn't have ''normal'' dreams..  Whats the point from having ''normal'' dreams anyways? But then again, Whats the point from dreaming big but not doing anything to achieve those dreams..  There is no point, and then you find yourself lonely or lost or unsure..

From now on.. I will care no more about being surrounded by people.. simply because, it doesn't matter.. I still feel lonely.. From now on, I will stop dreaming and start making goals, achievable goals.. I'll start small and with each goal crossed from the list I'll start making even bigger goals.. From now on, I will let people enjoy their little freaking lives.. and embrace my own loneliness..